Houdini Lives at My House

It’s true. He’s been reincarnated as my son. He’s now able to open doors, the dishwasher (even when locked), and almost his baby gate.

But here’s the worst story (warning – it’s gross):

Jackson woke up from his nap on Friday afternoon and was playing peacefully in his crib. I usually let him hang out in there for about 10-20 minutes until he gets cranky.

All of a sudden he started screaming so I rushed in to check on him. What I found was a half-naked child with poop splattered ALL over him. I’m talking head-to-toe coverage, including the inside of his ears. It was all over the crib, all over his mobile, the sheets and blankets, and the wall behind his crib.

What had happened was that I put him down for a nap in just a t-shirt and diaper because it was so hot outside. I’ve done this a bunch and never thought twice about it. When he woke up he took his diaper off. It was dry…. He then peed and pooped in his crib. And then he started to play in it.

I was so mortified and disgusted, but at the same time I thought it was pretty funny. I kept thinking how glad I was that he was my own child because I couldn’t clean up another baby.

I wrapped him in a towel and proceeded to give the most gross shower/bath I have ever experienced. I had to hold him up with one hand and pour water/soap him down with the other. I finally got the little bugger clean (who was in a gloriously good mood) and then I had to clean up his room. Yuck.

While I was cleaning up his room I had him in a diaper to eat dinner (he’s a bit messy). He took off his diaper again and then handed it to me. Sigh…

I learned an extremely valuable lesson on Friday – my child is never to be trusted on his own with a diaper. Ever. I’m definitely NOT looking forward to the potty-training days!!

I couldn’t bear to photograph the incident, so here’s a nice little photo of him instead – all cleaned up!

Tuesday Ten - Babyproofing

My child is crawling (video to follow in a separate post). Maybe you didn't hear that right... I said, my little boy is a grown-up. He is now very mobile, and even though he hasn't totally mastered this skill, he can move all over the place. It's now time for babyproofing. Oh, you must think I'm a terrible mother because I didn't go through this hassle while I was pregnant. Because I had nothing going on then, like my need to incessantly clean and eat cheeseburgers.


In honor of Miss Mommy's Tuesday Ten, I have decided to make my blog about the ten (at the least) babyproofing items and areas I need to babyproof. This is a perfect Tuesday Ten for me because I get to share and do one of my favorite things ever as an OCD mom - make glorious lists.

1. Living Room Fireplace - talk about your sharp edges and corners. Getting some foam for sure!!

 

KidKusion Hearth Kusion Source: target.com

2. Baby Gates - Definitely going to lock this baby up in the living room, but thinking we should get one at the top of the stairs too. Not sure that's a necessity just yet, but it will be when he starts walking/figuring out how to get out of his room.

Munchkin Auto-Close Baby Gate. Source: Target

3. Cabinet and drawer locks - kitchen, bathrooms, and living room entertainment center. Not so much worried he will get into things that will hurt him, but worried he is going to slam his baby fingers constantly. Also concerned about Momma's make-up. Valid!

 

Dream Baby Bathroom Safety Kit. Source: target.com

4. Door knobs - again, not thinking this has to happen immediately, but I need to be able to keep him from opening the garage and basement doors. Maybe even the front door. Lord knows he will let the dogs out and they will never come home.

Safety 1st Knob Cover Source: BabiesRUs

5. Fridge - I have heard horror stories about babies that get into the refrigerator and cause all kinds of trouble.

Dream Baby Flexi Loop Lock. Source: BabiesRUs

6. Outlets - pretty obvious, right?

Safety 1st Outlet Covers. Source: BabiesRUs

7. Random faceplates for cable outlets - we have a few of these and I need to get flat faceplates to cover them. JB has already mosied over to one and tried to stick his finger in it. Bad, bad, bad.

8. Jack's room - I need to move everything off of the bottom shelf of his changing table unit and make sure to shut his closet door.

9. Cords - this baby loves cords. I have nightmares about finding him with one wrapped around his neck or hand or leg. Frightening.

10. The dogs - wishful thinking, but I would love to babyproof these two monsters. They get fur everywhere, they track in dirt, and this lick JB to show their undying love. I do need to move their doggy food somewhere though. I have no clue where because they eat when they feel like it, but I don't want Jackson to choke on a kernel of their food, or drown in their water bowl.

I am neurotic in general, and having a baby has amplified that by several hundred times. Now having a crawling baby is sending me over the edge. A glass of wine is in order after all my work today :)

Go check out Miss Mommy and link-up!