Pet Peeves and Annoyances

After having a lovely conversation with my friend Jen about what ticks us off about Facebook, I started thinking about my top ten pet peeves. Naturally, I am so into myself that I'm posting them on my blog for the five return readers to enjoy. Here you are friends:

10. Spelling mistakes - We have all graduated high school and yet, so many people that I know cannot spell simple words like business or definitely correctly. Drives me crazy - husband included. I have terrible grammar, but the spelling is there. Trevor has the grammar down, so between the two of us, we are pretty good.

9. Husband leaving a teeny tiny little bit of food in a container - For instance, Trevor will leave the smallest amount of ice cream in the container for me to enjoy. It's not even close to enough for a full serving, but he just can't bear to toss it or finish it all. Bless him - I know he has problems with all my shoes being all over the house.

8. People who pretend like they can't see your turn signal - I know you see it a**hole. Let me in nicely or I'm going to make this embarrassing and terrible for the both of us when I come charging over into your lane and then make a scene.

7. People who tsk at me - This happened last week in the Target checkout line. The woman behind me decided that I had too many items and she was SO inconvenienced to wait behind me. I thought her eyes were going to roll out of her head when I had the audacity to ask the cashier to double check a price for me. She couldn't take it anymore and proceeded to walk to another checkout line. B*tch.

6. My dog Kesler's fur - I want to shave it off. He sheds constantly. I will vacuum and dust in the morning and by the evening there are already fur bunnies all over the house. Also, it gets in everything. And I mean it; I've found his fur in my food, in my underwear, and in my nose. Gross!!! I wish Trevor would let me try shaving him one summer. I would honestly accept this honor in lieu of a birthday present. I adore this dog, but I could live without his fur.

5. Text talk - i cnt undrstnd sht whn youuuuuuuuuu tlk lyk ths. Stop abbreviating everything. It literally takes me four times as long to understand this nonsense.

4. Grocery store shopping when it's even a little crowded - there are always plenty of a**holes at the grocery store, and they multiply on weekends and near holidays. A few weeks ago I encountered a douchebag lady that was blocking the aisle and wouldn't move because she needed to spread out to decide which almond extract to purchase. When her daughter told her I was trying to get by, she responded, "She can wait until I'm finished". I then proceeded to smile at her like a creepy Cheshire cat and follow her around the store. Don't mess with the pregnant hormones. I will go out of my way to annoy you back.

3. Facebook abusers - We've all done it. Posted something on Facebook for attention. No big deal. Until you do this 18 times a day and comment on the most ridiculous nonsense, such as what you ate today, what the weather is like, and how big your morning poop was. WE DON'T CARE. I also don't care about the depressed people on Facebook. Stop posting that you are SO upset with your life and that it's all over for you and then refuse to answer the poor people who pretend to care about you. Lastly, stop "checking in" to places. No one gives a sh*t that you are currently at Subway on 16th street. We aren't going to go out of our way to see you. Could you be any more self-absorbed? Or are you just begging for a creepo to come and get you? Since you are also the type of person to have 1500 friends that you have never met on FB. Chances are you've got a sex offender in the mix.

2. Pregnancy heartburn - I'm over it. I want to sleep without feeling like my chest and back are on fire after drinking a glass of water. How on earth could water give you heartburn???

1. Myself as a pregnant lady - I get annoyed all the time, I have to pee every five minutes, my body is starting to resemble a giant ant, and I can't sleep more than two hours at a time. Which is why I am on here ranting like a lunatic. Don't get me wrong, I could have it so much worse, but I can safely say that I am getting on my last nerve. I need the next 7 weeks to fly by, or I may just beat myself up soon.